Making a MESS
Giving & Receiving
Or How to Turn Business Christmas Giving
Into a Great Big Mess
Ian Summers
Easton Garbage
2003
This is the time of year for business gift giving. It inspired me to look at what business gifts are about. Why do you give them? And what, if anything, do you expect in return? Do you give business gifts because it is an obligation? Do you give business gifts to promote more work next year? Does the perceived value of the gift have something to do with the amount of work you have received from a particular client? Do you give business gifts to show gratitude?
I have written before about the four configurations of giving and receiving. I thought it would be appropriate at this time of year to reiterate and expand.
There are those who take and attempt to take more. This produces crime and other abhorrent behaviors. Greed and materialism are represented by those who give only if they know what is in it for them. They give with an attachment to what they will receive. Some altruistic people give and give more. If you are not open to receive you will eventually run out of gas or energy. And you have blocked the abilities of others to give to you.
There are those who understand the concept of receiving in order to give. Those people understand that receiving and giving is a natural flow of energy. For me, receiving is about opening my heart to others, to spirit. When I am in this mode, I never have to wonder about what to give. I give what I have received. When I receive AND give, the natural flow of the universe is present. Reciprocation is the rule. What goes around, comes around.
Your personal or business life depends on the scales being in balance. The plain, basic reality is that if you want to receive, you have got to give. Receiving without giving is disastrously one-sided. There is only so much room in your bucket. Sooner or later, the universe recognizes that you are full. And it stops giving to you.
In an Internet article, Coach Martin Avis talks about the principle of MESS. "The Universe is chaotic. It loves MESS. It is our job to keep each of those four letters in balance to prevent personal chaos. What do they mean? They each express a different driving need:
Material Emotional Spiritual Survival
Any kind of success that we crave will be based on one of these four needs."
Avis continues, "Think of each of these needs as a water bucket in our souls. When each bucket is full, we are happy, balanced people. Sounds easy? Well, there is a snag. The water at the bottom of the bucket gets stagnant pretty quickly and can soon taint the whole bucket. The only way to prevent that is to regularly open the valve at the bottom and let some out. Don't worry about your bucket draining because there is a constant supply of water waiting to top it up again."
“Sure, anyone can be selfish. Many people in high places achieve success and power by being just that. But at what cost? Maybe ignoring others doesn't harm them materially, but they will certainly be imbalanced in other ways. Spiritually or emotionally. And in some cases, ignoring the needs of others can even threaten their very survival. Politicians through the ages have been too aware of that drawback to power.”
“Business is no different. When you have your MESS in order, people around you sense it. You become the person they want to associate with. You become more attractive because your buckets are draining into theirs.”
“But, and here is the kicker that so many people stumble on, the giving has to be done willingly. It is not enough to grudgingly part with your time, knowledge, emotions, money, wisdom or experience. Unless you can do it cheerfully and willingly, the magic isn't activated.”
Open your heart, get your MESS in order. Take an inventory of what you have received. Give it away and trust that the universe will fill your bucket.
What do you know about each of your clients? What do you know about their MESS? What can you give to each to help fill their bucket? Business gifts should not be weighted and attached to money. Instead, a little bit of caring will go a long way. Let the client know that you are caring by remembering something about them. For example, a client may be interested in Surrealism. Go to the bookstore and find a book on that topic. In fact, an afternoon at the bookstore may solve all of your business gift giving problems. And NEVER send a promotion disguised as a gift.
Martin Avis is a British management and training consultant
Comments
Hello--
At the end of this past tough, but rewarding, year, I had one major client. He had put bread on my table, when a number of solicited others had not. He seemed to come along with a really nice assignment when my bank accounts were running low.
As a Christmas gift, I gave him a bottle of Carmenet Dynamite Merlot, but more importantly, I gave him a family portrait series.
I agreed to go to his home and photograph his family. His son was in town from far away, and was soon to be married. We made the portraits in about an hour and did some quick editing soon thereafter.
After all was said and done, I had put about 4 days into this gift. I gave my client much more than a bottle of wine, and in doing so, gave of myself.
Now my client realizes how much I value the relationship, and the work he sends me.
Whenever he looks at the images from the portrait series, in addition to remembering his family members in the portraits, he might also remember me.
Thanks,
Alex Bachnick
Posted by: Alex Bachnick | February 14, 2006 01:17 PM